Sunday, May 20, 2012

InsomniaSometimes, during the day, when I am frustrated or distracted, I think about how much more focused — and how much smarter! — I would be if I could only have …five? …six? hours of uninterrupted sleep a night.

I love sleep so much. It is my holy grail.

When I feel myself waking up in the morning, I fight it, like someone in a lifejacket trying to stay underwater.

It seems like I must know how to fall asleep. I have done it before. Everyone else does it. It can’t be that hard to figure out how.

My cats do it effortlessly. Multiple times in a row. I wake them up, out of jealous spite, and they just fall RIGHT BACK ASLEEP AGAIN. On top of me.

There must be a trick to it that I don’t know. (Yes, I know about various relaxation techniques. Yes, I have made an appointment with a sleep clinic.)

There are so many things that are supposed to be hard that are not hard at all for me, and yet this thing — this thing that my cats, with their walnut-sized brains, are MASTERS at — at this thing, I fail so hard it is literally (and yes, I know the meaning of the word literally and I absolutely mean it here) painful for me.

URGH. Okay, I am going to go get back in bed and try again now.

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    Just your average twentysomething: navigating the wilds of the Internet, carrying on 9 IM conversations at once, trying to reconcile fashion with comfort, hacking things that weren\'t intended to be hacked, encouraging entertainment to color outside the lines, reinventing play, chipping away at the fourth wall, and trying to figure out what the heck I\'m going to eat for dinner tonight. I\'m a games editor with Microsoft Games Studio, coming off a stint as a transmedia designer with Smith & Tinker, which was my solution to discovering that I didn\'t want to be a lawyer. All of which makes perfect sense, since I\'m a lit major whose parents didn\'t let her play video games growing up.

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